People

Kindness to others isn't just spilled sunshine, it warms your own heart from the inside out. 

Imagine having no one to play with, no one to tell you jokes, and no one to celebrate birthdays with! That's what life would be like without people.

People are like the different colors in a rainbow – they make life more fun and interesting. We start off with our amazing parents who take care of us when we're little. Then we make friends, like brothers and sisters we choose, and start our own families. At school and work, we meet even more people, some become teammates (colleagues) and some become close friends like family. Sure, sometimes we might disagree with someone, but even those experiences help us learn and grow.

The truth is, people are all around us, even strangers we see on the street. They add variety to our lives, just like having all sorts of toys to play with! That's why life is so much more exciting when we have people in it.

In this section we will try to deal with the following:

• Life Partner Relationships

• Dealing with People

• Why some people treat you nicely?

• Why some people behave badly with you?

• How to succeed with people?

• Be careful of Narcissist, exploiter, mental predator, con artist, scammer, gossipmonger

The picture below outlines organizing communication channels: maintain a support group of family and friends, present a public face with a "mask," filter information through an isolation layer, and stay true to your core values. It emphasizes discarding irrelevant information and holding onto personal values, symbolized by the heart, soul, and subconscious mind.

Some interesting topics

Click on the links to explore further

• Life Partner Relationship 

• Dating tips

• My family an Ideal Family?

• Getting Married

Dealing with People

If you have seen someone who has more friends than you its because they are better at dealing with people. Simple as that. You might think you are equally good, but believe me you are still lacking that magic ingredient that someone has which attracts more people to them. When you give an exam you get result after few days. In dealing with people your every word, every body language, every action, every inaction and almost everything, every day, every second is like giving an exam. The people watching you are the judge who give you the result then and there. You are being scored by people every second based on how you come across to them. And if you do not come across anywhere near as the most popular person then you will be that far from having so many friends. Some people are born with people attracting skills while many lack it. Still, this skill can be learnt. Its unfortunate its not taught anywhere else, but we at IFLC will help you inculcate people dealing skills so that you can also become a popular person.

Being popular only should not be the only goal when dealing with people. Because as with everything being popular too has its disadvantages. Everyone envies those who are more popular, but believe me having more people in life just does not makes ones life happier. Its have the right kind of people in your life that makes your life a happy life; Alas these days its too difficult to find right people. At IFLC we are attempting to create such a bunch of right people who are life a plant filled with scented flowers which gives its fragrance to everyone who passes by. As a piece of jaggery attracts many ants; it does not mean that ants are good for jaggery; its that these ants will eat away the jaggery as much faster. The more number of people get attracted to popular people, the more number of troubles they bring in that popular person's life. People come to popular person for exactly the same reason why ants come to jaggery; they all want a piece of popular person for themselves. So, get happy, if you are not like jaggery (popular) but like salt (un-popular) then you will not attract so many ants (unwanted people) in your life; and this is good too.

In my experience 98% of people around you will be useless to you; so why do you want them in your inner circle? Let them stay around and stay at a distance. Instead fill your close circle with those elusive 2% of people who are like fragrant plants. And by improving your value-system, guided by IFLC, you will transform yourself into one of those 2% of very-nice people that everyone will want to have in their lives.

You might be a very good person at heart and if you do not behave in the way people expect you to then you will not attract many people to you. Because attracting people to yourself needs certain specific traits; if someone does not has those traits then people will not get attracted to them. So even if you are a block of salt, people will expect you to to taste like jaggery. You can always cover yourself with a thick layer of jaggery which will attract more ants to you. You can still remain salt inside but as far as your layer of jaggery is thick enough to allow people to keep licking you and still being unable to taste salt, you are good, you will remain popular. The last line will be a bit difficult to digest for IFLC beginners. 

There are many types of intelligence in life. Read the Intelligence section for details; one of the intelligence is people dealing skills. Only a very few people are born with this talent and they are the people who naturally become more popular. But, as with anything in life, people dealing is also a skill which you can learn and become better at. If you are so keen to improve your people dealing skills then you will have to get ready to change your opinions, thinking, attitude to people and only after a hard work of 2 years will you start seeing the result. Its a lot of hard work but once you have done it you will reap the benefits for rest of your life and dealing with people will become easy like scooping the cream out of a cake.

To change your image in people's eyes you will have to first remove the negative image they hold about you. Then you need to instil your new image; and this takes time; anything between 1-5 years.

If you are reading this line then give yourself a pat on the back because if you have reached till here means you do appreciate the importance of people dealing skills. 70% of the people in this world do not believe he need for people dealing skills; they think that people happen to be one of the many things that have just happened in their life like: brith, growth, education, job, marriage etc. etc. They take people for granted and then people also start taking them for granted. The popular few take that much of extra effort and care to deal nicely with others and this is what makes them popular. 

Its your duty to not only make yourself better at dealing with people but also to enlighten those 70% of the people who are ignorant to this very important aspect of their life. 

Why some people treat you nicely?

Some people love you and they will treat you nicely due to the following reasons:

1. Responsible parents want to make your lives happy because you are the only reason what makes their life worth living. For you your parents are the centre of the world but for your parents you are the whole world; it means a lot.

2. People treat you nicely if you treat them nicely.

3. Your good friends will take care of your and make you feel nice.

4. They see you as a role model, leader.

There are many others who don't really love your or like you, yet they will treat you nicely due to following reasons: 

5. You are richer than them

6. You are more educated than them

7. You are better looking than them

8. Your have a higher social status then them

9. You are more popular than them

10. You are racially better than them

11. You are a valuable asset and they want to own you (or part of you)

12. Being seen with your raises their social status

13. You are more elite and stylish

14. You inspire them to do bigger better things

15. They want to be with you so that they can easily steal your money from you and dump you

Why some people behave badly with you?

These are some reasons why people behave badly; some of these reasons, you might find as very cruel reasons, but believe me this does happen:

1. You have treated them badly

2. You do not possess positive people skills

3. You have some very annoying habits

4. You are less intelligent than them

5. You are poorer than them

6. You are not so good looking

7. You are less educated

8. You are from a backward race

9. You are unclean and shabby

Negative qualities in you.

These are some of the negative qualities in you that make you bad at dealing with people:

1. Lack of empathy: Failing to understand or share the feelings of others, which makes it difficult to connect or offer support.

2. Poor listening skills: Not fully engaging in conversations or ignoring what others are saying, leading to misunderstandings and strained communication.

3. Impatience: A tendency to rush through situations or become frustrated quickly, often making others feel dismissed or undervalued.

4. Arrogance: Believing oneself to be superior to others, which can alienate people and prevent open, collaborative interactions.

5. Inflexibility: Being unwilling to adapt or consider other perspectives, causing difficulty in resolving conflicts or building relationships.

6. Judgmental attitude: Quickly forming negative opinions of others, which creates barriers to empathy and fosters an unwelcoming environment.

7. Negativity or pessimism: Constantly expecting the worst outcomes or focusing on problems, which can drain energy and demotivate those around you.

8. Dishonesty: Failing to be truthful or transparent, eroding trust and creating a toxic, unreliable atmosphere.

9. Lack of respect for others: Disregarding other people’s feelings, time, or opinions, leading to a breakdown in mutual respect and cooperation.

10. Poor communication skills: Struggling to express oneself clearly or failing to listen properly, which can lead to confusion or conflict.

11. Interrupting or dominating conversations: Not allowing others to speak or constantly steering discussions, which can make others feel invalidated and unheard.

12. Gossiping or spreading rumors: Talking behind people's backs or sharing unverified information, which undermines trust and spreads negativity.

13. Passive-aggressiveness: Expressing anger or dissatisfaction in indirect or covert ways, which can confuse others and hinder resolution of issues.

14. Overreacting emotionally: Letting emotions override reason, which can escalate conflicts and make communication difficult or unproductive.

15. Being overly critical or dismissive: Harshly judging others or disregarding their ideas and efforts, which can damage relationships and hinder collaboration.

How to succeed with people?

Its simple, try to do all the things listed above which will make people like you. And do not do things that will make people hate you. Yes, i do understand many of the things listed above cannot be changed and that is also a reason why you will not get treated nicely by everyone on earth. By changing most of the things above you will bring good people skills in your life. Now, you would argue, "Why should i take so much effort just to make others like me?", Well, do not take that much effort and keep getting treated as you have been till date. 

To succeed in  this world you need to network with the right people. To network with the right people and extract valuable information for your benefit, follow these steps:

1. Identify the Right People: Target individuals who have the knowledge or connections you need. This could be industry experts, colleagues, mentors, or influencers.

2. Build Genuine Relationships: Approach networking with a mindset of building authentic connections rather than just extracting information. People are more willing to help those they trust and respect.

3. Offer Value First: Provide value in the relationship before asking for anything. Share useful insights, help with a project, or offer your expertise.

4. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Engage in conversations that encourage people to share their thoughts and experiences, which can naturally lead to useful insights.

5. Be an Active Listener: Pay attention to what the other person says, showing genuine interest in their ideas and experiences. This will make them more willing to share information.

6. Be Direct and Specific: When asking for advice or information, be clear and specific about what you need. Avoid vague or overly broad requests.

7. Maintain Regular Contact: Stay connected with your network by checking in periodically, whether through social media, emails, or in-person meetings, to keep relationships warm.

8. Leverage Mutual Connections: Use introductions from people you already know to build credibility with new contacts.

9. Respect Boundaries: Understand that some information may be sensitive or private, so avoid being pushy or intrusive.

10. Follow Up and Show Gratitude: Always thank people for their time and insights, and follow up to maintain the relationship and show appreciation.

Best practices of the highly Sociable people?

Building strong, positive connections with others is a powerful skill that fosters trust, respect, and mutual understanding. Whether in personal or professional settings, small but mindful actions can make a significant difference in how people perceive and respond to us. Listening actively, showing empathy, and using open body language can help create a warm and inviting atmosphere. Appreciating others, asking open-ended questions, and adapting communication styles further enhance interactions. Practicing kindness, patience, and authenticity brings sincerity, while respecting personal boundaries fosters comfort. These practices collectively lead to enriched relationships and encourage long-lasting positive interactions. 

1. Listen Actively: Focus on understanding the speaker fully without interrupting or forming a response too soon.

2. Show Empathy: Try to understand others' feelings and perspectives to build rapport.

3. Maintain Open Body Language: Use eye contact, nod, and avoid crossing arms to show openness and attentiveness.

4. Express Appreciation: Acknowledge and value others' efforts and contributions.

5. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage dialogue by asking questions that require more than a yes-or-no answer.

6. Use Positive Language: Frame responses with a positive tone to foster a friendly and encouraging atmosphere.

7. Be Authentic: Be genuine and transparent, as people value honesty and sincerity.

8. Give Constructive Feedback: Offer feedback thoughtfully, focusing on improvement rather than criticism.

9. Stay Present: Avoid distractions (like phones) to show full attention and respect.

10. Adapt Communication Style: Adjust tone, pace, or approach to match the other person’s style for better understanding.

11. Respect Personal Boundaries: Recognize and honor physical, emotional, and conversational boundaries.

12. Practice Kindness and Patience: Approach interactions with a warm, patient demeanor, even in challenging situations.

13. Follow Up: If applicable, reach out later to show continued interest and build long-term positive connections.

Be careful of Narcissist, exploiter, mental predator, con artist, scammer, gossipmongers

In rural parts of the world 95% of the people on earth are simple down to earth people. In the top cities of the world only 20% people are simple people. Most people are harmless people just getting on with their lives but there is a category of people whom you need to be extremely careful.

Based on where you live, there will be few or many people from this category : Narcissist, exploiter, mental predator, con artist, scammer, gossipmonger, manipulator, dishonest, two-faced, hypocrite, deceptive, backstabber, fake, smiler, parasite. 

These are some of the most dangerous types of people around. When you are with them they will convince you that they are your best friends and will wish you very well. They will give you much better treatment than what you receive from honest people, and you might think, WOW; this is THE person i want to be friends with. But, they are like snakes who will bite you at the first instance. They will appear very polished, very articulate in talking and often posh to the extent that until they blow their strike, you will not even detect their true nature. And when they strike, its fatal. These people have been perfecting this art since their childhood, so the older this person is, the more fatal they are.

Often these people have grownup in more sophisticated cities of the world, in an extremely toxic people culture; they think of everyone else as lowly soul who are meant to be exploited; and hence they have no regrets even after exploiting many people. They think of simple people as cannon fodder. Once done with a prey they move on to new targets. 

They best way to detect negative type of people is to let them be around you for sometime (12-24 months) without letting them too much in your inner circle. If you are unsure about someone give them 2 years before they become your good friends. Most negative people have so much negativity filled inside them that they cannot pretend innocence for more than an year. I personally had an instances when some family-friends-couple revealed their true colours within 24 months time. Soon, or later they will show their colours; mark my words . 

Luckily, now that you know the IFLC skill of letting them skirt around, without letting them too much into your life, you will be protected. This is your mantra, the best antivirus, best defence against negative people. 

So its wiser to let friendship flourish over time, don't get very friendly with someone who looks, talks and behaves nicely. Next time when you keep negative people at a distance for longer, they will soon sense that you know how to self-guard they will spare you and move on to next target.

People Dealing Rules:

1. People will lie to you most of the time, so don't believe whatever everyone says.

2. People will hurt you, deceive you, exploit you so keep them at distance. 

3. Strangers, colleagues, friends, extended family, family, siblings and in some situations even parents will deceive you. 

4. Trust no one. 

5. People care more about themselves than they care about you.

6. No one cares if you are sad, in pain, crying or distressed. So wipe your tears and get on with life.

7. They are all busy doing crimes and they will have no pity on you.

8. If you are hurt by someone in someway, complaining won't help. No one will listen to your complaints; instead they will treat you as the trouble maker, so don't complain; accept it as rule of the game.

9. Always think long term in relationships; treat people well today so that they can help you in future.

10. If you treat people badly then A) They will never help you B) They will set up roadblocks on your road to success.

11. People are themselves struggling in life and often they will behave in a very mean way; don’t feel sad when they treat you this way; just shrug it off and move on.

12. Don’t judge people by their words; judge them by their actions.

13. Compulsion will make people do wrong things against you; even people who are close to you will deceive you due to compulsions; so be aware of this.

14. People will fake honesty in your presence; sometimes for years together. So be aware of it.

15. Honesty comes with a price; if someone else can pay a higher price than you, then you will lose the honest person to them.

16. No one loves you more than yourself; not even your parents or life partner or siblings or friends.

17. Do not worry if you are single and alone; everyone in the crowd is equally lonely. In-fact having less people in your life is better than having too many.

18. You need to be your biggest fan; because no one will cheer for your better than you yourself.

19. The people who are surrounded with other people all the time are mostly empty in their brains; because they never get free time to think creatively. 

20. People will want you to be genuine and friendly to them; but they don't want you to be smarter or more intelligent than them.

21. People want to be treated as king or queen for no good reason.

22. Once you develop a positive personality; you will start attracting people towards you. Then you can select and choose who you want to allow in your life and who not.

23. Often it's the good looking people who have the worst personality; so do not get carried away by good looks.

24. If you hurt people physically they might forget; but if you hurt people's heart with your words then they will never forget.

25. You would be called an intelligent person if you do not make enemies, instead make more friends.

26. People perceive the world from their unique perspectives, so don't expect them to understand everything exactly as you explain. Keep margin for error in understanding. 

27. The world is full of illogical people believing in nonsense.

28. After all the world if full of so many types of idiots; you will have to learn to live with them. You cannot create a new world for yourself.

29. The ultimate test of your mental strength will be when you will have to keep your mouth shut and listen to a bunch of morons talking non-sense.

People Dealing Duties:

1. Always, always treat people nicely. Remember: At first it might look like you are a fool doing good to people who are treating you badly; but in fact you are doing this for your own longer term good.

2. Offer support to people in bad times.

3. People will open more doors for your if you are cheerful, so smile.

4. People will either block your way or let you go; it all depends on how you make them feel. So make people feel good when they are around you.

5. When you are around people always demonstrate positive body language and optimistic words.

6. Be a fun loving person; as everyone wants to be around fun loving people. You will be in high demand due to this quality.

7. Do not make people feel uncomfortable by asking very personal or insulting questions.

8. Respect people's personal boundary; give them time and space to enjoy their own time and space.

9. Make every attempt to make your personality a beautiful and attractive one. You need to be like a beautiful flower that attracts honey bees towards you.

10. Say words that make their place in people's heart for good reasons; and not for bad reasons.

11. Your words are your most powerful tool when dealing with people; so choose them wisely. If you are not sure what to say then staying silence is golden.

12. People will mis-interpret your words in un-imaginable way to your disadvantage; so choose the most un-ambiguous words and sentences to say in any situation.

13. When you speak, say it in a way that even if your words are mis-interpreted in the most negative way; they still should not not dent your reputation.

14. Do not give free advice; i repeat do not give free advice. Your free advice will do more damage to your long term reputation than the good it will do to the other person. And yes, it will take you many years to understand this.

15. Always fact-check what people say; so that you do not get led into the wrong path by liars.

16. There are so many unwritten, illogical things people believe. If you want these people's company then you need to pretend to believe in those. BTW, its good to have as many people on your side as possible.

17. If you try to show off a super intelligent then you will loose people quickly in life. So try to act dumb; laugh at silly things, and take it easy.

18. Lonliness is much worse than being with a bunch of idiots. So its wiser to choose the latter than the former.

19. Keep your intelligence with yourself; do not show it to others. Your intelligence will earn you money but at least do not annoy those around yourself with your intelligence.

20. Your smartness and intelligence will invite many enemies for you; so stay low and let non-sense rule the world. Its for your own safety.

People Dealing DO NOTs:

Do no do these things:

1. Don't be rude or disrespectful to others.

2. Don't gossip or spread rumours.

3. Don't be overly critical or judgmental.

4. Don't take advantage of others' kindness.

5. Don't be afraid to say "no."

6. Don't engage in negative self-talk.

7. Don't be afraid to express your feelings and needs.

8. Don't be afraid to ask for help or support.

9. Don't make assumptions about others' intentions.

10. Don't be afraid to be yourself.

11. Don't try to be someone you're not.

12. Don't neglect your own needs in order to please others.